Consequences for Crossing Boundaries in Marriage
A healthy marriage is important for both parties. Logically, all couples have problems. However, there are certain boundaries that, when crossed, can have severe and lasting consequences.
If these limits are not respected, spouses and their families suffer physically and emotionally. Ultimately, they risk destroying the marriage in its entirety.
Physical Boundaries
According to the Canadian Department of Justice, the effects of crossing physical boundaries are numerous and far-reaching. Crossing this line can be physically and mentally devastating for the person.
Their ability to work or interact with others can be affected. Some may turn to drugs or alcohol to cope, further harming their health. In some cases, it can lead to murder, suicide, or both at once. However, the consequences are not limited to the victim.
Children or teens who see such violence often exhibit signs of physical aggression, emotional disorders, hyperactivity or lawlessness. The abusers also suffer since their behavior could extend to other relationships or result in legal complications.
Emotional Boundaries
Like physical boundaries in a marriage, there is only so much a spouse can take. However, while physical abuse occurs in isolated spurts, emotional abuse can be subtle and constant. Other members of the household, such as children, sense the tension and start walking on eggshells; they often have a hard time understanding their own feelings and behaviors.
Additionally, family members can suffer from clinical anxiety or depression. Adults’ self-esteem can be negatively affected and children often are less happy than their peers. Finally, spouses of this abuse may be in denial and actually believe they are to blame for the alleged flaws their partner keeps mentioning.
Social Boundaries
Having a social life is normal, regardless of marital status. However, a spouse may meet someone with whom they become emotionally or sexually involved. This can have serious consequences for both partners. The cheating individual may become the subject of anger or resentment.
This is usually a short-term effect and it either ends in divorce or reconciliation. Another consequence is that a spouse may become afraid of another affair. To remedy this, they become too attentive in an effort to please their disloyal partner, sacrificing their own happiness in the process.
If the affair was sexual, the victim may be repulsed by the cheater, resulting in abstinence. A lack of intimacy can cause a marriage to end. Sometimes, married couples can reconcile. While some people can rebuild a trusting relationship, others may remain suspicious. If this problem is not remedied, the marriage can eventually fall apart.
Freedom Boundaries
Commons sense would dictate that marriages need to be built on trust and respect. Spouses are entitled to some freedom. However, there are times when a partner may over step their boundaries by controlling virtually ever aspect of the other person’s life.
When this happens, the marriage suffers significantly. The person being controlled can become angry, resentful, permissive to their children or disloyal. Eventually, this lack of independence can frustrate the person enough to end the marriage.
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