How to Deal with Emotions From Surrogacy

A surrogate mother performs a selfless act of love by giving birth to another family’s baby. For example, a surrogate may be artificially inseminated by one or both members of a gay male couple, or have the fertilized egg of a woman who can’t get pregnant implanted in her uterus. Still other surrogates choose to use a sperm bank to create a baby. However you conceive, giving the child you gestated to its adoptive parents can generate a whirlwind of emotions you might need help to deal with.

 

5 Steps to Deal with Emotions From Surrogacy

1. Surround yourself with friends and family who will be with you or take your calls anytime.

The people who are closest to you are your greatest support resource in the early days after parting with your baby.

 

2. Exercise to help get your body back in pre-pregnancy shape.

Not because you’re fat or unacceptable the way you are, but because a return to your pre-pregnancy body and wardrobe can provide you with visual signals that the surrogacy phase has passed.

 

3. See a psychotherapist as soon as possible after making the decision to be a surrogate.

Having the support of a professional during and after the pregnancy gives you a regular reality check. Your therapist can also refer you to a psychiatrist if you feel you need medication to treat postpartum depression.

 

4. Develop a spiritual practice, even if you don’t believe in God.

Yoga helps you connect with yourself through your body, which means you can partially treat traumatic experiences through physical movement. A meditation practice can also help calm your anxious, grieving brain.

 

5. Remind yourself often that you gave some combination of mothers, fathers and siblings the greatest gift anyone could give another.

You’ve done something incredibly selfless and special. Reward yourself with an adventure you’ve never had before — take a trip you’ve always wanted to take, buy yourself a couple of post-pregnancy outfits to wear while your body is in transition or pamper yourself with a form of therapy in which someone touches you, such as massage or acupuncture. Connect with and feel proud of yourself as often as possible.

 

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